Went to the doctors yesterday. She said that I have some sort of homrmonal imbalance and when i was looking at my paper for getting blood drawn, she said to check for testosterone! Maybe I might be a man!! hehe.

but seriously. I'm kind of glad that we got a second opinion becuase i truely did not believe that all those symptoms were because of my weight. many of them. Yeah i can see but not all and..just it didnt feel right. and im really upset with my mother becuase she didnt believe me. She believe that stupid asshole doctor just becuase she can't see me for anything else than FAT. and it hurts my feelings. because if my mother wont believe me..who will? no one knows you like your mother. even if you think they do. and i just wanted my mother to have my back and not take the stupid doctors side just becuase he is a doctor. doctors are wrong all the time. i watch grey's i know. i mean she just let him rip me apart and i felt abandoned. and then when i was crying on the floor she just watch me. and did nothing. and even when i told her it wasnt because of my weight...she doesnt believe me or listen to me.

so I'm really mad at the asshole doctor who didnt even stop to think of any other possiblities. he just looked at me and sad. FAT! lose wight. Problem solved. NOT PROBLEM SOLVED! NOT PROBLEM SOLVED!

~~~

So my dady left for MO today and I wont see him for a while. i dont know how i feel. numb i guess. im just always numb.

But im heading down to SU tomorrow to see an awesome play with people who make me happy...one problem is that i can't find my ticket. its in my planner..but i dont know if i took my planner to the OC already...so i might just have to leave tonight!

doctors soon. i can't seem to concentrate.

salisbury is soon after that like a day after that. and im estatic. i really can't wait to go back to school. and find a job and meet new people and see my friends who i adore.

i found this study abroad that i really want to do. studying norse lit in iceland. ICELAND. i'm really freaking excited. i just need to find my passport. please Lord, help me remember what i did with it...

im losing my mind. i can't remember where i put my passport and its really freaking me out. cause i hate knowing that i lost it and i really just wont be feeling better until its back where it belongs.

which hopefully will be soon. i mean if we sell the house its bound to come up sooner...hopefully before winter semester. and before spring so i can go to iceland. and brazil....actually i need it before september 5. cause i might on a cruise with my mom.

PLEASE LORD LET ME REMEMBER...where my passport is located. where it is hiding from me.

i mean i am willing to get a new one. but i dont want to because my parents paid for it the first time and that would be like a waste. and i dont want to waste. i want my passport in my hands.

yeah.

doctors soon.

kind of scared. because i dont want her to touch me and because i know that she is going to tell me the same thing. i would be really sursprised if she did not. but she will. i know she will. and it sucks. cause i have to pay for parking. pay to be told that im fat and dying. woah. yeah. and my parents have to pay around $250 just for this "inspection." we both have to pay. but i guess its worth it. if it finally goes through my head. LOSE WIEGHT! yeah. i'm trying. im really trying.

today i wanted more food. another "eat the world day" and i talked myself out of buying half off pizza. and for 42 minutes i forgot about it. forgot that i wanted pizza. kind of i pressive if you ask me. so all i had today was: pop tarts, a low-fat yogurt and some tunafish. I think I'm doing something good here. telling myself that i love myself and that i dont want to hurt me anymore.

~~~~~

so bethany and i are pretty much over. she has replaced me with this bitch lauren. (who i dont really know. but she stole my "best friend" so yeah. bitch) and it sucks cause now i have to figure out what to do when im feeling crappy. cause i dont want to call bethany anymore. and it sucks cause she knows everything about me. and she used to understand how i ticked. but i dont need her. never rely on anyone. people only let you down.

 

I can't wait to go back to school and grow. Like a flower. haha. I really likes flowers and i really want a garden.

cause I want to grow things.

and help things.

and i want to eat the world....right now at least. I feel like i need food. this addiction i have is tightening its grip on me. and I dont like it. who would? but i really want to eat the world.

and i want a donut..and chocolate cake.

and a breakfast bagel from subway...

i want to eat the world.

so i really miss my room mate.
like quote of the day
taco bell walks at 9:00 at night
after a long day of bull shit
stalking people out the window
mainly just me stalking "people"
but she was there
i miss "My Humps"
our board where we talked about
mitchell
a lot
and his inability to hold it
and bakin' babies
I miss when her mom
would come down
and we would steal her car to drive
only to discover that someone
was dumping bodies over the bridge
I miss ranting about getting jobs
and freaking out because we had to call people
i miss top model
i miss the FORT
i miss the smell of the dorm
and having her to be there
when it all came down to it
she was there
and i loved it!

now it feels like we
are MILES apart.
like some cliche song
that gets stuck playing over and over
and over and over
on the radio
but its the only station that my buick can get

what happened?
was it the seperate rooms?
was it the new room mates
that made this feel so bad?
was she-devil up her butt so much
that there was no room for me anymore

it was probably me.
i probably changed
i dont now
i just know that i miss us
and i just really want it back
or at least
at the bull shit to disappear
and us to start fresh
like the first day we meet
or the first phone call we had

i thought she was a prep
like one of those athletic girls
who i hated in school
the ones with the hair bands
who never cared about anything
but sports
and when we talked on the phone
her voice was high pitched
but that was because she gets nervous
and her voice jumps an octave
like me
which is why we get along so well
or did.
but i remember my mom telling me about her
when i was in brazil
she plays guitar
she likes green day
monkeys
blue and green

and i remember on the first day i gave her a monkey pen
that my mom found and MADE me give to her.
i felt lame.

i miss snowball fights
math class
talking about cute boys
her hott teacher
and the tactics we would use to
seduce the men we wanted
i miss dirty dishes
and laundry parties

i miss you always listening to my songs
even when i know i was
being annoying
half the time
i was being annoying
and either out of love
or just lazyiness
you out up with me
so thanks!

i miss the idea
of having our rooms
and then
coming into the rooms and
ranting
and complaining
it never worked the
way i always wanted it too


i really REALLY really miss
sarah (jean) schmidt

i miss each day
getting closer
and letting her in
HAHAHA!!
i miss her perverted mind
and how she made me perverted too :)
i miss coming home after break
telling each other the CRAZY drama
that happened
her dad
my dad
our families
we're the same
and completely different
which is why we worked so well
as people
as room mates
as best friends

i miss you
and when you cuts my bangs
and when we had mud fights
and you putting up with my
posters and obsession
with zac efron
and your encouragement
and the bean bags
and our pre-historic tv

so many things
so many...

i really REALLY miss you
purity pledge sister


slutttt.

haha. live journal.

 So I was reading this article about how women have an advantage over their ex-boyfriends because they can say that they have a small penis. The guy the article said that that is the biggest fuck you to a member of the male species. This is ridiculous. The only reason men are so offended by that statement is because they think with there penises and not with there heads, and that would be calling them dumb. A wound on the male ego, with is located below the waste, not above the eyes. This man is acting like a penis actually has feelings. That if us women say it is small that it really hurts its feelings and we should apologize to the thing. He wants all men with small penises to embrace their size, like being small makes men opressed or something. Embrace who you are as a member of the small penis society. Fight the big bad women for saying so! Show your Pride!! 

Honestly I would perfer a smalled size. It won't hurt that much! But serious men only think with and about their penis, it makes me wonder how society was developed in the first place. Probably by a woman. Who used her big bad name calling to hark into her enemies. 

cms

you're told that you're not good enough
told that what you want really doesnt matter
because either way
you are going to fail

you tell yourself this is what you want
you need this
but you have no reason for this change

besides the obvious
the selfish reasons
that drive your every move

you wish this wasnt how things are
but they are
and will always be like this

selfish
choices

why can't i do it?
why can't it just happen
its like impossible for this
dream
want
need
wish 
to come true

help

cs

SO 
I am so super duper excited because my future husband is staring in a movie. and its coming out october 24 2008.
and i bet anyone can guess what that beast is..


HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3

hehe. I am so excited. but i can't express my joy because i am at work and you can't be that excited about work so they would know something was up. 
so i have to laugh sneakly and pretened that i am folder papers.

hsm3. oh sarah. are you ready to have fun :)

SHIT FACE

 at work.
bored at hell. 
getting paid to do nothing. kind of exciting if you think about it.
missing my roomie. 
and my life
and my self
im gone.

poof. 

well im a ghost now. ghost of another time and place where christie marie stone had dreams and didn't need anyone to tell her how to live them.

poof.

 So Here's the thing.
I've decided to start my live journal back up. 
Awesome. So now I'm excited but first I need to change the background and all that jazz because i have grown as a person and things changed about me.
Life changes, people change. 

Whatever. I was going to start a new one, maybe I will, I dont know. 

I'm going to fiddle with this live journal when I get home because right now I am at work. Yup, working the summer so I can earn money for Salisbury next year. People have to eat you know.

So yeah as you can see I go to Salisbury University and I'm majoring in Creative Writing. I really didn't like it at first but once I met some pretty amazing people, I love every moment i spend there. And my roommate Sarah and our two friends Long and Kellie are getting an apartment together next year. Its pretty exciting. We are each going to get out own room and bathroom. YAY!
well work is almost over and I get to go home soon! 
then I will do some fiddling....

cms

THESE WERE THE RESULTS OF MY HANDWRITING THINGS SO WONDERFULY BROUGHT TO YOU BY JAMIE FAICE

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.

You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

What does your handwriting say about YOU?


SWEET!

Your Social Dysfunction: Schizotypal You display social deficits and oddities of thinking. Your perception and communication are similar to those of a schizophrenic.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.

IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull, these hearts they race, from self control. Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine, we're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted; just lay entwined here, undiscovered. Safe in here from all the stupid questions. "hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear... so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and this walk that we shared together. The streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it, and I let you in. And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it, and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it.


Guys I am going back on Weight watchers. I really am determined to loose about 50 pounds. Yes that may seem a lot but that is my goal. I mayb not get there but that is what I aming for. Rinn is going to be my emotion support. I dont know. PRAY FOR ME!

Wow, I have updated since in forever.

HI

 Well, I just found out that my brother has a myspace
It would break my mothers heart. Its funny actully. Everything I though my brother did and was come true. Yeah. He probably thinks that I am going to tell my mom but I wont. I think its actully funny. Its his life whatever.

I dont know what to write anymore..Weekand was good. Christmas is coming up. Im excited I have to finish Hannah and Jamies presents. There like not done and I havent even began to being one of them...

Hopefully I get into Anything Goes. I want to be an angel. I just want to be something. Important. I dont know. If only I was prepared enough then I would be Reno. Lol I have that much determination next year I am going to be one of the leads. I promise.

~Christie

We (Hannah, Jamie, Manya, and Krstyal and I) went to see Rent yesturday and it was AWESOME. I can't express in words how much it meant to me. There is like nothing to describe this feeling. Overwhemled. Anguious. Depressed. well yeah there is some. Lol When we came out of the theaters (I was sobbing my eyes out) it was Snowing. I was so cold and shaking. We took some pictures and well here they are


All of us being goofy under the tree (I was taking the picture).

 
Then i got in the picture when Hannah offered to take it


Them being Silly


The Snow


Me in the Snow


Well, Happy Thanksgiving!

Im changing as the seasons of old have changed their leaves and grown mopre branches..I can't help it. Im just feel different about everything. I just want ot start over in my life.

Yeah Im not going to say everything i want to say but...whatever

Now this may change what here is the basics

1 Quater
~AP HIstory - Power (A days)
AP English - AcArdle (B Days)
~Concert (A days)
B days I dont know...
~Creative Writing - Shinnick
~Hon. Trig - Mrs. Astarita

2 Quater
~AP HIstory - Power (A days)
AP English - AcArdle (B Days)
~Concert (A days)
B days I have no idea
~NO clue..need to change
~Hon. Physics - Mr. Whitfield


yeah and my homeroom is Rm. 44 Ms. Bloch

Comment if you have any of these

You walked me to the door
Held my hand the whole time
Your fingers inertwined with mine
Our heartbeats as one

The door was so far away
I never wanted you to go
Never to loose you
I just wanted this moment to replay forever

The thrill of your kiss
It excited the most passion ever
I wanted to touch your face
I love you so much

Then you brushed my hair
Confessed your secret crush
Smiled sweetly to me
You kiss my nose and left